Tuesday July 8, 08

There are times that I wish I lived alone. Like now. I can't have anything with people living with me. There is so much distruction. Scott broke into my lock box yesterday while I was gone. Chris's rings are in there and I had wore one on my thumb for a while after he left, then finally put it up. Then Scott wanted to wear it so I let him. Well he left it on the microwave the other day so I took it and put back in the box so no one would take it. Figured if he was going to leave it laying around, someone would take it, like they took Chris's phone and blue tooth. Darn it all! I didn't give it back to him when he discovered it gone from the microwave. I figured I'd let him steam over it for a bit. I'll be damned if he didn't break into my box yesterday and get it out. I just hope he didn't take any of my pain pills. I don't count them since they are locked up. What do I need a vault at the bank to keep my stuff in? It appears so. This makes me so mad.

And I found out what happened to the eggs. I swear these kids have regressed to 5 yr olds. The other night they went and bought water baloons to throw at each other in the backyard, or so I thought. Come to find out later, they also had them in the house and the eggs were taken outside and thrown at Colby as he was on the roof. Scott claims none broke on the roof. Whatever! I don't believe that for a minute. lol He said they rolled back down to the ground and then broke. I'll have Tara go out later and see if there are egg shells all over the roof. I had looked in the backyard yesterday morning before leaving, when I let the dogs out and I think I'd have seen that many egg shells in the backyard. And IF they are on the roof, Mr. Colby gets to come over here and clean them off or who ever threw them up there which would be Jacob and the girls. Colby's Mom made him come home yesterday, he left about 3o mins before I got here. He's supposed to be back this morning, but Scott has sent him a text last night and told him that I said IF this house couldn't stay cleaned up, which they didn't get done yesterday, that I said he couldn't come over except a couple of times per week and spend the night only on the weekends. I told Scott I am fed up with my house looking like it does. We don't live like this and I won't allow others to live this way in MY home. They can just stay away. Colby makes the bulk of the messes because he's so hyper, he's always in to something. But once he gets started, the others, including Scott, seem to chime in and help. In Colby's defense, he says, "I clean it up". Yeah, he does, but it doesn't last more than 2 hrs if even that long. I'm not going to run around here and have to babysit 17 yr old kids. This is stupid and I'm not that stupid!

I think Mr. Scott can be grounded for a week for breaking into my box. That Is MINE. Oh that just makes me so mad. It's like he didn't think I'd notice. I noticed first off when I tried to open it this morning. It was hard to unlock, then you could see where he used the screw driver on it.

I remember Dr. Bag saying he didn't think I have PRIMARY PH, but there are others, there is secondary and Idiopathic. I had forgotten about that. I'm just grabbing at straws as I want a name for this and to know there is good treatment that will slow the progression. This is so very upsetting. I didn't sleep last night for fear of bleeding. I was afraid this clot would break free and I'd bleed to death. I'm such a hard sleeper, I wouldn't wake to moisture. Scott even stayed up from 2 to 4 so I could sleep for 2 hrs, just to watch me. He offered to stay up all night so I could sleep, but I couldn't do that to him. He needed to go to bed.

We'll see if Tara shows today. I'm going to call the company after she leaves today and request another Aide. I do like my nurse and don't want to lose her. So maybe instead of changing companies, I'll give one more Aide a chance. But then again, I've only had one really good Aide out of that company and that's out of about 10 of them. But I'm going to be very specific this time. I want a good Aide, I don't want a new hire. I want one who has been there for a while and that probably isn't a possibility because they have such a turn over. lol I might just have to change companies. Everytime I've had to have a new Aide, either because they quit or I got rid of them, they always send me the next one that is hired. I hate home health care and wish I didn't need it. It's just a pain in the butt and this is why I didn't take it for the first 2 yrs I was on Advantage. I didn't want to hassle with it and the very first person I was sent, didn't show or call. Then they talked me into trying another one, but this one was one who'd been there for a while and was really good. So I finally agreed. She had been on vacation when I started with them. Anyway, she started, actually showed up and I had her for the duration I was with that company, about 2-1/2 yrs I had her. I was with them 4-1/2 yrs. Then I moved to Yukon and that company didn't service Canadian County. I only had one nurse the entire time I was with them too.

My neck is pretty sore this morning. Matter of fact, it was very sore last night. One the numbing totally wore off, I felt it. It even hurts to swallow. That part is getting better, but last night it really hurt. I get to take this bandage off at noon or there about. I might even wait another day or till tonight. He said around noon I could take it off though. Rather be safe than sorry.

I guess this is pretty much all I have to say for now. I hope Tanja has that envelope with that money in it. If not, I've just lost it. I wasn't with my other papers from the hospital as that is how I was carrying it and it's not in my purse. I can't afford to lose that money. I'm broke as it is.