Monday July 28, 08

This weekend wasn't too bad. It was hotter than hell though! I just stayed in out of it for the most part. The boys and I went to Walmart at 3 this morning. It sure was nice out then. I wish it were like that in the day time and it wasn't even humid. It was perfect! I could have stayed out if the town wasn't all rolled up and put away!
I know I shouldn't have been up so late, but actually I slept during the evening, from 6-9. Then went back to bed before 10:30 to wake up at 12:30am. Darn Bandit woke me up at 9, got back to sleep and Scott then wakes me up too. I might have slept all night if they'd have left me alone. I hate that! I was sleeping so good! Anyway, when I woke up at 12:30, Scott and Colby were still out. They had walked to Walmart earlier and gone to Jacob's too. Jacob went with them to Walmart as well. They were supposed to have brought back a couple of items, but didn't. That's why I went ahead and went at 3am. We were totally out of toilet paper. Gotta have that stuff. lol So I took my little $29 and bought a bunch of stuff. We needed it all too. Thank God payday is Friday. I can't wait. I hate paying bills, but I have to, then maybe I can buy some groceries. I'm going to Manna Pantry tomorrow night. That will get us through this week. This is becoming a way of life for us, shamefully. But praise the Lord they are there. I don't know how we'd make it other wise. Scott has got to get off his butt and get a job. Here summer is almost over and he still hasn't worked. And I don't see how he thinks he's going to go to school, vo-tech and work during the school year when he can't even work and play in the summer. Yeah right, it'll never happen. He doesn't seem to know himself very well.

I'm so very excited that Chris will be home a month early. I can't wait. I only have a month to wait now instead of two!!! YIPPEE! He weighs 193 now and keeping it on. I'm so proud of him, I can't wait to see him. I'll never take my arms from around him. It's a shame I can't pick him up from the gate at the airport. Darn terrorists....grrrrrrrrr. I hate when bad people ruin good things for us. Just makes me sick to my stomach. And there is so much that we can't do these days because of bad things others have done. You've got to meet him again :) I know you will. He is just an awesome person. God bless him for being there for our freedom. He told me the other day they have been practicing for Iraq :( I don't want him to go there and if he does, I will pray my heart out that he comes back. I just cry every time we lose one of ours over there. You hear this stuff on the news and hope like heck that the families have already been notified when they announce that "we lost 4 today". I hope I never have to hear those words, that something has happened to my son. I'm just so in love with my son. lol Not "that" kind of love, but you know what I mean. I feel like I need to get to know him all over again now. But I know, he is still Chris, just an enhanced version and I can't wait to see it. God bless him! I just have such a great admiration for him. What can I say? He's mine!!
He's the best Christmas present I have ever received and there is none other that can replace this gift. Ok, I should stop bragging now. lol

I pray that Scott will come out of his troubles well. I wish he could go in the Military, but I also wish the war wasn't going on. I couldn't bare to have them both over there. OMGosh, that would tear my heart out. It's going to be bad enough if Chris has to go over there. He wants to go, but I say NOOOOOOOOO. He has a great passion about it too. Scott wants to join to follow in Chris's footsteps. Chris is his Hero along with his Dad. I'm glad he has them. It might be all that keeps him going. If he ever heals from all of his wounds, he will be a more awesome person. I can't wait to see that person. I just wish there was something I could do to make it happen and remove him from the pain that consumes him. It is heart breaking to watch it. It does make me angry too. But it hurts more and then I guess the hurt turns to anger. He will get there despite the set backs I've laid in his path. I'm getting better at handling him. And refraining from dogging him so bad. I feel like such a terrible Mother for saying the things I've said to him and about him, but I can't take them back.

I'm getting too emotional here and Colby has country music playing in the back ground that isn't helping. lol I'm signing off for now.