Passing of Sister

I got one of those phone calls this morning. I knew before I answered it that it would be bad news. It was Donna calling and Glenda had called this morning, but I thought maybe she was calling to see how I'm doing, but I was wrong. She was only calling to tell me what Donna had told me, Charlotte died this morning. Dale went into wake her and she wasn't there. There will be an autopsy performed, as they have no clue as to why she died. She's been very sick for a very long time though. They are thinking she might have had a heart attack. Her suffering has ended and praise the Lord she went in her sleep. She was the second to the oldest sister in a line of 13 kids. But she was #4 in the line including 2 of the boys. I really need to write a book about this family before I die. I know my days are numbered, but I'll never know just when He will call me home. I have a lot of affairs to get in order before that time comes. Guess I better act like when I was younger and hurry. I always felt I had so much to do and not enough time. The World was going to end and I wouldn't have accomplished what I wanted to. I got part way and my body gave out.

Charlotte and I had 8 years of closeness. She dies without me knowing why she ended our relationship. It ended in January of 2000. I had the opportunity to know a couple of Thanksgivings ago, but I wouldn't talk to her. You see, there is something I did when I was a little girl that I'm not proud of and I had never told this to a soul until I told Glenda back in 1995. She was my confidant, she had never told anything I had confided in her. Until this. She shattered my trust with the one thing I had never told another soul about, not even a Counselor. This still hurts till this day. I don't know if the pain will ever subside. I could never face Charlotte after that. The shame and guilt were too strong. Now she's dead. So many of us face things like this. We don't get things done before someone dies. Maybe I will learn a big lesson from this. Now it's just too late to make things right. I don't know that I want to go to her funeral, but I do want to go to the Funeral Home and say goodbye. Since they are doing an autopsy, I know that will delay the funeral a bit.

We are just too young for this to be happening in our family already. She was only 59 yrs old. She never even got to see grandchildren. I'm not sure her children will even have any. Pat, her daughter I don't believe will. I'm sure she wants to kill the seed of the Houchin gene's. Chris, her son, he may have some as he'll have a wife who may want some and how can he deny her children. They are both in their 30's. Pat is about, 37 or 38, Chris is 2 yrs behind her. Pat also chose her career over family. She is now married and her and her hubby both are JAG Attorney's. Charlotte and Dale put that young lady through 7 or 8 yrs of college.

Charlotte and I had so much fun during our 8 yr relationship. I always have those memories to hold onto. No one can take them from me. You sure know you're getting old when your siblings start dying. I'm next. Well, it'll be Wesley or I. We are both in pretty bad health. And I think Gerald has CHF, I know he has diabetes. Charlotte is the first one to go home with Moma. I know that spelling is wrong, but that is how we always spelled it. And I think Moma probably taught us how to spell it, with her 3rd grade education.

Danny always said I was older than my time and he is right. I was raised by an older Mother, God rest her soul. She was 42 when she had me. 45 when she had her last child. And to let you know how old she really would be, she was born in 1922. Such a long time ago. I never liked hanging with kids my own age much, you didn't learn anything from them really. At least not what I was hungry for. Adults were my friends. Older teens were too busy playing so I didn't hang with them. I didn't have time to play, I had to grow up and fast. If I were going to get everything done. Didn't know I'd fall flat on my face, defeated by my own body.

Ok, I gotta snap out of this. I'm sure I'll have more moments and write more. But for how, this is getting too thick.